the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
