Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
