Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
