she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
