When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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