small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
