i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
