you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
