even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
