Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
