Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
