$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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