id be glad to
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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