I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
