The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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