I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
