Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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