Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
