doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
