All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
