I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
