there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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