He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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