shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
