with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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