I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
