Sry I called you an 8
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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