i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
