So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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