in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
