you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
