I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
