i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
