i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
