What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize