like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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