Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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