So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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