Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
