toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
