So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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