All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
