can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
