All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
