yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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