the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
