I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
