Don't you send me to vm
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
