He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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