But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
