Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At least make sure they are 18
Why
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
