I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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