"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
