well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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