When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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