Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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