i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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