Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
